'[He] decided to become a tortured artist overnight': Friend calls out dude who constantly switches up style, he gets angry at them for making him seem 'fake'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 2, 2025 1:00 PM EST

It can take a lifetime to hone your personal style. Everyone has different approaches to dressing and they'll likely change as you get older and as the trends cycle. If you told me I had to dress like the 20-year-old version of me for the rest of my life… I would be pretty upset. It's true that most people's personal style doesn't change overnight, but rather gradually over time. That is unless you're Tina Cohen-Chang on Glee. Then you're switching up on us with literally no notice. But ultimately who cares? I'd love to live in a world where you could come to work in full trad-goth garb one day, and then show up the next looking like Barbie. Because clothes do not make you who you are. Your soul makes you who you are. 

I can also understand, though, that it would be a little weird to see your friend, who usually is decked out in streetwear, suddenly denounce that part of themselves. 

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    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation when a man who kept abruptly changing his style was finally called out by his friend. Commenters were split, though, on whether or not it was a fair thing to do to him in front of company. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

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    AITA for bringing up my friend's past style choices in front of people?

    So my friend (we can call him Milo) has recently gone through a major rebrand. Like, full personality shift overnight. One day he's dressing like he always has; hoodies, sneakers, whatever, and the next.. he's in head to toe "thrifted" (from Grailed) pieces, wireframe glasses (he has never worn glasses), and talking about how "fast fashion is killing individuality."
    via u/ChahanlerMarks
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    Cool, whatever, people change... but it's like he saw one looksmaxxing video and decided to become a tortured artist overnight. Last year he was all about streetwear. The year before he was deep in his eboy era. And now, suddenly he's dressing like a philosophy major who exclusively drinks espresso and journals about "the concept of time."
    via u/ChahanlerMarks
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    I let him do his thing, no comments. But then we're out with friends, and he starts talking about how he's "always resonated with a minimalist, timeless aesthetic." And I without even thinking - - laugh and go "you literally had a sneaker wall six months ago..."
    via u/ChahanlerMarks
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    He goes de d silent. I quickly changed the subject, and we moved on, but I could feel the shift. Later, he texted me saying he felt embarrassed and that I made it seem like he was "fake" in front of everyone. I told him I wasn't trying to call him out, I just genuinely thought it was funny how quickly he went all in on this new vibe.
    via u/ChahanlerMarks
  • 06
    He left me on read. I asked one of our mutual friends, and they were like, "Yeah, you kinda played him. Should've just let him live." like, I get it... but also i don't get it lol
    via u/ChahanlerMarks
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    The online community was split on whether this callout was justified.

    Zestyclose_Fox_9... It's not uncommon that 14h ago people search for their own identity and try different things. This is especially true during teenage years and young adulthood. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm when he said that he always
    via u/Zestyclose_Fox_9348
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    resonated with a minimalist. He may have exaggerated but ultimately I think he was trying to show his new identity and what he cares for at the moment. Think of it this way, he's like the "new vegan" that you called out for eating steak last year. While what you said to your friend is not incorrect, it wasn't very nice either to call him out in front of others.
    via u/Zestyclose_Fox_9348
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    theagonyaunt • 14h ago NAH. I'm all for trying on new looks as you figure out your style but you shouldn't also expect that people are just going to forget your previous. styles whenever you switch to a new one. These days I'm much more of a minimalist dresser but when I was in my
    via u/theagonyaunt
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    teens I was heavily into grunge and punk style clothing and it's something my family still talks about from time to time (I also went to an art school so there was a lot of creative thrift store outfits on my part).
    via u/theagonyaunt
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    anon_anon2022 • 14h ago NTA. This doesn't seem like a situation where you're being resentful and just want to "keep him in his place." Just an authentic reaction to him being ridiculous. And I don't even think what you said is that bad, it seems like it was a big deal because of how he reacted.
    via u/anon_anon2022
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    fancyandfab • 14h ago I don't think your comments were made in good faith. I don't know what looksmaxxing or any of these other words mean, but young people switch up their style and identity often. It's the time to explore and find out
    via u/fancyandfab
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    what and who you are. If he's robbing people or getting into a relationship under false pretenses that's completely different. It just sounds like you wanted to rain on his parade. YTA
    via u/fancyandfab
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    Cheezburger Image 10461891072
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Clerbie 14h ago I made it seem like he was "fake" in front of everyone. NTA. He is being fake. I understand going through phases of when trying to find your style, but acting like you've always been a certain way when you haven't is just douchey. If anything, I think he needs a bit of a dose of reality.
    via u/Clerbie
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    PrettyGoodRule 13h ago • But you were trying to call him out. Your comment genuinely served no other purpose than to call him out and embarrass him—it added nothing positive or productive to the conversation. And it certainly wasn't kind or intended to offer constructive criticism.
    via u/PrettyGoodRule
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    His style changes may be frustrating at times or even awkward to watch, but your comment didn't leave either of you in a positive light.
    via u/PrettyGoodRule
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    Mysterious_Clue_3... • 14h ago NAH. Friends should be able to call friends on their bulls. I can certainly understand that your friend is trying to find himself but he's not doing himself any favors by not acknowledging who he's
    via u/Mysterious_Clue_3500
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    been in the past. If this current persona is who he really is, he should be able to acknowledge who he was before and why this change was good/necessary. If he can't do that he might need to keep looking. One of the great things about friendship is that your friends can help you figure out who you are and yes call you on your bulls if necessary.
    via u/Mysterious_Clue_3500
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    Decent-Resident-8... 14h ago • YTA. People come into their own identity as they get older. Maybe he was being fake before, and now he feels. authentic. Don't call someone out in front of others for doing something harmless. If you really have a problem with it, talk to him privately.
    via u/Decent-Resident-8102
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    trippinbymolly • 13h ago I once read that the worst fight to start was to try to convince someone they aren't who they think they are. Most people just can't handle it, get super defensive, and lash out. NAH but not smart...or kind to point it out in front of everyone.
    via u/trippinbymolly
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    torgoth234 • 14h ago NTA the artist formally known as hoodies and sneakers guy can get over himself.
    via u/torgoth234
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    seeemilyplay123 · 14h ago • YTA. He's your friend and you belittled/ embarrassed him in front of others.
    via u/seeemilyplay123
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    Odd_Departure_51... 13h ago NTA. Sounds like bro takes himself a little too seriously. It's fine to change your style, but it's silly to act like the past versions of you didn't happen.
    via u/Odd_Departure_5100
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    emb8n00 - 13h ago God am I just old or did anyone else have to google multiple words here? Grailed? Looksmaxing?
    via u/emb8n00
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    • No_Community_82... 14h ago You didn't call him out for being fake. He is fake. Maybe this is how he feels now, but it definitely hasn't been how he "always" felt. NTA.
    via u/No_Community_8279

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friendship High Fashion fashion is my passion fashion wtf looksmaxxing your friends are laughing at you friends hairstyle best friend reddit story friend Fashion & Style tiktok trends style trending trends reddit thread Reddit streetwear
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